With Michael Phelps announcing his retirement after winning his 23rd Olympic gold medal (and 28th Olympic medal overall), this seems like a good time to repost this. It originally appeared on February 4, 2009 on a blog I used to share with my wife. It appears here slightly edited, although the statistical information is still as of that date.
Apparently the world is about to come to an end. Yep, it seems that something so grotesque has happened that civilization as we know it is about to cease to exist, to be replaced by lawlessness and anarchy.
Michael Phelps got caught smoking weed.
OH NO, WHAT WILL WE EVER DO!?!?!?!?!
I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to go about my life like it never happened. I personally don’t care he was smoking weed. He’s a 23 year old that has won 14 Olympic gold medals, is an 18 time World Champion, and has broken world records 32 times and is currently the holder of seven world records.
Sounds like a damn troublemaker to me.
I understand the argument “pot is illegal”, but let’s be honest here; marijuana is only illegal because the government can’t figure out a way to tax it. Tobacco is legal because it can’t easily be grown in vast quantities at home, and is easily taxed at distribution points. The same is true with alcohol, tough to make large quantities in, and is also easily taxed at manufacturers.
Marijuana, on the other hand, is easily grown in just about any environment which makes collecting taxes on it near impossible. In fact, nearly half of all states have laws that tax the sale of pot, and have used those laws to charge folks caught with large amounts of weed with tax evasion. If they could find a way to actually collect that tax, trust me, it would be legal.
I’m also laughing at the folks that say Phelps should be charged. There is a sheriff in South Carolina, who I won’t name but will refer to as “Attention Whore”, that is saying he “would file charges against Phelps if he determines the swimmer smoked marijuana in (his) county.”
Based on a picture? Really? How many prosecutions happen in that county based on pictures on Myspace, Facebook, et al? There are lots of pictures of under-aged drinking on those type of sites, so there must be someone from Richland County–where the Phelps picture was allegedly taken–going through them trying to find evidence of other crimes they can prosecute, right?
Ladies and Gentleman, your tax dollars in action.
I’m also not very happy with folks that claim this will somehow hurt children because Phelps is supposed to be a role model for them. Supposed to be a role model? Here’s an idea, why don’t you parent your kids correctly and you be their role model? Talk to your kids about what you believe is right or wrong, and don’t rely on some athlete or celebrity to fill a gap in your child’s life that you should be filling.
Of course, if you actually took some responsibility over your children you’d have no one to blame if they turned out to be an axe murderer, child molester, or worse, a pot smoking Olympic champion.